9 years ago my husband and I decided to leave Switzerland and try something new. The WHERE was unimportant at that moment. Important for us was – AWAY.
Some thought we were brave, others stupid :-). We both had well-paid jobs in Switzerland, were able to fly on vacation twice a year, had a child with a daycare place and 2 cars plus a motorbike. The only thing missing for most of them was the wedding ring and the house. And that was the “problem”, it was somehow clear what our life would look like in the next 10 years: 42 hour week, at the weekend it took at least 1 day for doing nothing and the declared goal was the next holidays. So we decided to take our lives into our own hands and dare something new – with everything that goes with it – defeats and successes. Do we have any regrets? Clear answer: NO, at best that we did it so late!
Am I a migrant, expat, digital nomad?
- I have emigrated! Almost 18 years ago I emigrated from Germany to Switzerland, quite unspectacularly by truck across the border.
- I moved to the other end of the world! – Just seeing the world from the other side, that was the goal when we moved to New Zealand. We lived, worked and felt at home there.
- I was expat in Singapore! There I enjoyed the “Land of Cockaigne” for adults to the fullest.
- I’m a returnee! A global pandemic put an end to our wanderlust and we needed to return to a safe place.
- I’m a digital nomad! That was a goal I set myself when we were told we were going back to Europe. This gives me the opportunity to take my business with me.
If “home” is a person and not a place – that is love.
Sometimes people ask me: Where is your homeland? Where do you feel most comfortable? Where do you live?
These are questions to which I don’t know the answer and to which I don’t want to commit myself. I don’t want to pin down my sense of home, of home, to one place.
At some point I decided that I would be at home where we felt comfortable. This place is neither Switzerland nor Germany, the place that comes closest I think is New Zealand.
At the moment Switzerland is our home again. We – that is my husband, I and our 2 sons (11 and 5 years old) and since last year also two young tomcats.
I can’t even explain why I don’t have this place-bound feeling of home, nor is it necessarily the urge to leave everything behind, but rather the feeling that the world is so big and has so much to offer that it feels like a waste to spend life in one place. I’m lucky to have found a man who does it.
Everything at the beginning
Starting a life in a new country is never easy. No matter how well prepared you are, it takes money, patience, the will to make it and you have to be aware that nobody was waiting for you.
My penchant for organization and structure did not detract from our adventure and greatly minimized the potential for stress. The last trip from Singapore to Switzerland was under a special star. In the midst of a worldwide pandemic, we had to decide within 3 months where to go next and organize everything including containers. It wasn’t easy, especially since we never knew 100% where the journey would end. It was a decisive advantage for me that it wasn’t my first move and that at some point I learned that I can’t control everything. I can make preparations and try to organize as much as possible, but there are always variables that you can’t influence, and it’s important to stay pragmatic and move forward step by step.
Carpe Diem – Seize the day
Even if I love to plan and organize – I live for the moment. I enjoy every moment of my life, the time with my husband and my children and also leave space for the “unplanned”.
I’ve learned a lot over the past 7 years, including about myself. And I’ve learned not to postpone anything until tomorrow. Life is too short to wait for the perfect moment. It’s too short to procrastinate and nothing is impossible.
Yes, it’s not always easy – you always have to start from scratch – I had my problems with that, especially in Singapore. Many come to Singapore for a few years and then leave again, I lost 2 of my best friends within 2 months because they moved away and at some point I didn’t feel like meeting new people anymore. Instead, I started studying and invested my time in my Bachelor of International Management.
I use every opportunity to network, sometimes the strangest situations have become a closer connection, no matter what country we were in. Networking privately and professionally has become incredibly important to me, but that’s also something I had to learn first. My social network in particular has become incredibly important to me – it was the only way I was able to master certain situations in the past and today.
I have stopped defining myself by status, origin, passport, family status or skin color over the past 7 years. I’ve learned to let things go and not put things off. I’ve learned to enjoy moments, save money (that saved our a**** last time) and spend money. As a family, we try to collect experiences and not objects. This year, for example, we started with a trip to the Husky Lodge and had 2 unforgettable days there including husky care, an extensive dog sled ride and a raclette evening. We are still raving about this wonderful Christmas present.
New Zealand – at the other end of the world
Our first trip took us to New Zealand – thanks to my husband’s job we had the opportunity to experience this great country up close for 4 years. And we experienced it from a side that nobody tells about.
Poverty, children who go to school hungry, families who live in garages because they can no longer afford the rent in the cities, an incredibly weak health system, more than half of the residents have asthma because the building quality of the houses is improbable bad is. But we also experienced a variety of nations and nobody asks where you come from, what kind of car you have, an unbelievable warmth and child-friendliness.
I felt “at home” in New Zealand. If I wanted to, I didn’t notice anything about the misery in the world like wars and politics.
I worked in New Zealand for a hotel and for a travel agency, and that’s when I started thinking: what do I actually want. Do I want to have to start over every time? Can I find a job that I can and want to do with fun and joy, no matter where in the world? Thanks to my company at the time, I was able to do my job remotely from Singapore. In the beginning, this gave me the opportunity to work independently of my time, and on the other hand I had enough time to take care of the rest, such as settling in, looking for a flat, exploring etc. Because after 4 years in New Zealand I went to Singapore. My husband was traveling a lot at that time and the extra route via Australia and then New Zealand plus the time difference to the headquarters were simply too much and pushed him to the limits of his physical endurance.
Singapore – a land of plenty for adults
On our way to New Zealand we had a stopover in Singapore and even then I said I wanted to live in this city one day.
What can I say: Disneyland for adults – 24-hour delivery service to the door, a condo with a pool, the sea in front of the door where you can swim and of course our beloved Hawker Center. Singapore is of course a great starting point to explore Asia without long travel times. But a dominant state, opening a bank account is a very long and nerve-wracking path and there are also various hurdles to overcome, especially for partners without the “right” visa.
Many come and many go and I have been asked everywhere where I am from. In Singapore I experienced what my husband experiences every day in Switzerland – people stare at him because he doesn’t fit in and that’s how I felt in Singapore. The only white woman with tattoos and red hair in a wide area, because we didn’t live in the expat zone, but rather on the edge. But again, kids are a treasure and not a problem and Singapore is extremely progressive and so green.
I also started and worked from scratch in Singapore. Since you usually have a maid at home and the woman can therefore go to work 100%, it is difficult to find jobs that are designed for less. And that was a problem for me, because there are hardly any jobs and the job market in Singapore is tough.
Singapore is full of expats – the men go to work and the women, unless they also came with a job, find it difficult to settle down and develop – personally and professionally. I met doctors who, despite excellent training, could not work because their training was not recognized. I met women who couldn’t go to work because they didn’t get work visas.
And then came a global pandemic and Singapore has shown quite clearly that it protects its residents: expats have been laid off in droves, projects have not been renewed, work visas have been denied and that means you have to leave the country within 30 days. And that’s where our plan came to a standstill: back to the roots, so to speak, and we were back in Switzerland. Our savings went on containers, flights, accommodation, deposit, 1 car. We didn’t have health insurance because we didn’t live in Switzerland, and looking for an apartment was rather exhausting because we often heard that children weren’t wanted and we didn’t get an extract from the debt collection register (you can’t get one after more than 5 years abroad). I was in the middle of the naturalization process that I had already started in Singapore and this should have been over long ago. To name just a few complications.
Switzerland – culture shock
The dreaded reverse culture shock (i.e. the culture shock that often awaits you when you return to your own country) had me in its grip for quite a long time. The circumstances of our sudden return certainly didn’t help to alleviate it. Basically, everything was familiar and yet so far away – I’ve changed in the years on the other side of the world, my attitude to life and to friendship has changed and some people couldn’t cope with it or I couldn’t cope with it and so not all friendships made it through this phase. But you get on much better with other friends than before and it doesn’t matter where and how long you’ve been away – it’s just like before, with interruptions and a few more children on both sides.
Our return to Switzerland is a journey with one crying and one laughing eye. There are many things that I enjoy here and at least as many things that I miss.
Advantages
- Our long-time friends and family are close by.
- I was able to build up my current independence.
- There are no earthquakes – no emergency backpacks at home, no earthquake training at school.
- Cheese and salami are plentiful
- People are punctual and reliable.
- There is a functioning democracy and I am allowed to vote.
Disadvantages
- I need a car for everything and taking a cab is incredibly expensive.
- When it comes to delivery services, eating to go and technology, Switzerland is still in its infancy.
- All-day schools are not an issue in the country.
- I miss being able to stroll through the city on a Sunday and do my shopping.
- The cost of living is incredibly high, even compared to New Zealand and Singapore.
- People complain too much and are unhappy.
If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, but never the goal.
And the question also arose in Switzerland: What do I do now? In the middle of a full-time study program with a school-age child and a kindergarten child, both of whom (contrary to my experience in New Zealand and Singapore) are not cared for full-time. What are my options for working without being dependent on childcare? At some point, I decided that now was exactly the right time for me to start my own business. I’ve had my business as a virtual assistant since January 2021, which gives me the opportunity to combine my studies, children and work. It’s great for now and hopefully I’ll have finished my studies in a year’s time and then the cards will be reshuffled. In any case, I’m glad to have an option if we do embark on the next adventure. We’ll see what the next year brings.
Have I ever regretted it? No. Our decision 9 years ago was exactly the right one for us as a couple, as a family and as individuals. What would I personally do differently? The pension and job issues need to be improved and could have been given more attention.
Our lives have not become less intense with the decision to “leave”, we are not working less and our relationship is not getting any easier, but we are enjoying life differently now. We enjoy the moment and are happy with what we have.
About the author
I am Jacqueline, a self-employed virtual assistant, family manager and until recently a student on a distance learning Bachelor of International Management program.
During my time as an executive assistant, I realized that I like planning, organizing and structuring and that I have a talent for making other people’s lives “administratively” easier.
My mission as a VA is to give my clients more freedom, ease and time through my support – for a better work-life balance!
I am structured and organized and always have a smile on my face. I can familiarize myself with new software and systems very quickly and not only think about processes, but also like to develop them further (with you).
If you would like to know more about my background and my WORK – LIFE – BALANCE, please have a look at the page That’s me!over
